Happy rainy days,

The first pic shows some of my family together before we embarked on a yacht in New Port Beach this past summer for my niece's wedding, and the second is with my dear friend Linda at her home this past weekend. Ok, so I have to let you know that the prayers for me really helped this last week with my treatment. I did much better and I didn't end up in the hospital!! One week ago today I had the drip and today I walked 3.5 miles in the morning, between the rain, and another 3.5 miles this evening. So thank you so much for the prayers because I know God hears them. I also used lots of ginger honey in my green tea, I had the healing touch again to get me ready for the treatment, and again a few days after the treatment to help get the toxins out of my system. I also went in for an extra fluid drip on the middle day. Which means each treatment I carry some of the chemo in a hip pack for 72 hours continuous drip. On the middle day I go back to the office and they hooked me up to a bag of fluid and more anti nausea meds to help. All helped to get me through the treatment without getting so nauseated and dehydrated, and I didn't even have the bad cramps that I had been having in my gut area. My next drip will be Feb 8th so I'm looking forward to feeling good for the next two weeks. I will have two more drips and then March 9th I will have a CT. That will help determine how many drips I'll have of this regimen. Twelve is the standard treatment but it can change if I get too sick, show progression or the cancer goes in remission. It's really up to God though because I know my life is in His hands. In the mean time, I get to watch Brigitte play lacrosse this Saturday at Berkeley rain or shine. I admit, it's no fun getting sick every few weeks for a week, however, on the days I do feel good, I am so appreciative of that day. Even with all this rain, I love being able to get up and go outside to see the day. That's when I know I am blessed. Each day I have is truly a gift from God. Thank you all for helping me to live my life to the fullest, love abundantly, and enjoy each moment with all my friends and family. Psalms 136 starts off by saying , "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good". Each verse tells us to give Him thanks for great wonders, the heavens, the sun, the light etc... and ends with Give thanks to the God of heaven. If you get a chance it's worth the read, and remember to give thanks for all you have.

Hi Blogger buddies and happy January! The pics are showing what Kyle, Brig and Kiwi enjoy doing in their spare time. Doesn't look look like college life to me!!! It just started to rain and it's expected to last for the entire week, so I guess it's a good week to start my next chemo. Yes, I am doing chemo on Tuesday again. However, I will have a 20% reduction of the drugs and hopefully I'll do fine. This past week I went to a new doctor who practices homeopathic medicine as well as being an MD. She was great and I feel much better prepared for Tuesday. I'm now taking a probiotic powder to help with balancing my colon. She said the colon is like the ecosystem of the body and mine is out of balance from all the chemicals. The bad bacterial is more abundant than the good bacteria so this will help balance it out. I had been eating yogurt but it wasn't enough. I've only had three days of the powder and I already feel better. I'm also taking some support pills that she recommended to help with keeping my organs strong, and finally she gave me some strawberry tea and ginger honey tonic to help with the nausea that I have been experiencing. Homeopathic doctors look at the entire body, not just one part. So I feel very confident with her and will continue to see her as well as my current oncologist. Thursday I went for a wonderful relaxing body massage and Saturday I had "Healing Touch" done on me. It's similar to Reiki only American. It's used to help you help yourself through mind visualization, energy transfer and relation of the mind. This wonderful lady named Susanne helped me to visualize a positive, peaceful feeling and rid my mind of the memory of nausea that I have had the past few weeks. It really helped and I feel strong and ready to begin a new. It's strange how just the thought of the chemo drip made me start gagging weeks after the last drip. I was worried I'd be getting sick just walking into the office, but now I feel much better, more prepared and better equipped to handle the drugs. I'm also back to walking my 3.5 miles a day without any cramping what so ever. Looking back I feel it was a good experience (not one I want to repeat though) with a lot of learning in it. I now understand how it feels when someone just doesn't want to eat or drink. There was nothing I could think of that would entice me to take a bite of any food. That was such a strange experience for me because I LOVE food and all sorts of different ones. So even thought it was hard on me and on my family, I did learn from it and know I have gained empathy for those who have or are experiencing the same feeling. Through all this God has was present at every moment. I never felt alone and at times I felt His healing hands on my cramping belling in the hospital. I was also blessed to have all my family around me, and the pain meds and anti cramping drugs didn't hurt either. Thank you to everyone who has continued to pray for me, support me and send me gifts and cards. Your love and kindness really helps to lift me up and keep me strong and positive. This week when praying, please pray for all the people who are suffering in Haiti. God is really busy there and needed by so many. God bless you all my dear friends and family. Psalm 61:7-8 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge.

Happy New Year to all my friends and family. Our Christmas was wonderful with 19 friends and family joining us for a great dinner, laughter and playing games. Santa even visited us this season! The pics are of Santa and Kyle, the boys with new shirts created by my very artistic nephew Tyler (he made the shirts from bleach), Casey and I getting ready for the Christmas eve dinner, and the kids ready to go open presents on Christmas morning. We are truly a blessed family. Kyle's quote is "we are like a Bill Gates family in that we have more love than he has money ". Kyle comes up with the cutest quotes. The Monday after Christmas I had #3 chemo. It was hard on me and I ended up in the hospital on new years eve and came home on the 2nd. I had terrible cramps and was dehydrated. I've been on a liquid diet for the past week and am trying to get control of the cramping. I'm supposed to have #4 in a week but I may hold off. I had a CT in the emergency without contrast so it didn't really show much but also nothing new and that was a blessing. We were worried about a blockage because of the severe cramping. It was the chemo I'm sure that caused the problems. So at this point I'm not sure what to do. I have to go in for blood work tomorrow because my whites and platelets have dropped significantly. I may not be able to have the next treatment anyway. So please pray for a clear direction in my treatment and for a complete healing if it's Gods will. Psalm 25: 4 Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths, guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. May God be your beacon of hope for a happy and healthy 2010.

Hi Blogger Buddies. The pic is of Bonnie, my daughter, and her husband Ricky. They are moving back to Pleasanton next weekend. Ricky got a job with Cupertino Electric in San Jose and He's done with school on Friday! Yea! Many blessing have come our way. I hope everyone is having a good time getting ready for the Christmas season and not stressing too much. If you begin to feel overwhelmed by all the preparations that come with the season such as decorations, presents, cards, travel etc.. Stop! Take a deep breath and just remember that Christmas is about our Lord and celebrating His birth, about being together with friends and family and appreciating all the blessings we have been given. Another such blessing that happened this week for me is that Avastin was approved!!! As of my last blog, the insurance company kept dening it. Well, through tips from wonderful people, I put in an appeal through the Department of Managed Health Care. (http://www.hmohelp.ca.gov/) It's the state agency that monitors and regulates Blue Cross, my health insurance. I filed an expedited appeal so the state had 72 hours to review my records faxed from the insurance company. Well it took about one day and they went back to Blue Cross and over ruled them. Next thing I know is I got a call from my Onc office telling me it was approved! Yes, I was very shocked and happy. A state agency that worked and worked fast for the better of the people! Who would have guessed!!! I'm sure God had something to do with it as well for it to happen so fast. They were so helpful and nice so keep them in mind if anyone you know needs help in the insurance category. Tomorrow I will have the second round of Folfox with Avastin. Please pray that this treatment goes easier. I was pretty sick the first week. I would feel a little better early in the morning but then it would get worse and worse. The second week I had to take Advil or Tylenol to stop the stomach spasms. That was a first for me. So please keep me in your prayers that this next treatment is easier on me and that it puts me back into NED. If I don't get a chance to blog until after Christmas, Have a very Merry Christmas and God bless you all, each and every day. Thank you for your continued support, love and prayers. Without them I would not be writing this blog today. Oh, I posted my e-mail in the blog synopsis because people have been asking. Luke 1: 31-33 You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jocob forever, his kingdom will never end. This is why I have faith. Because his birth has given all who believe an eternial life with him that will never end. So I will celebrate his birthday this Christmas and continue to praise his name forever.

Good morning everyone. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with friends and family. We had our annual football game against the Allens, yes they got us this time but we'll get them next year. My daughter Bonnie, had shirts made for our team that said on the front, "I wear blue (the blue ribbon for colon cancer) for my mom, or my wife, my sister, daughter, son-in-law" etc.. It was so special to me and really touched my heart. After we had a wonderful dinner at my house and on Friday we went out to SnugHarbor for the weekend with all the cousins. What a great mini family reunion. Then on Monday I started with my first drip of Folfox in over 2.5 years. This was the first drip I had when I was DX. I thought it would be ok because I didn't remember it being so bad. Boy was I mistaken. I guess it's like labor, you forget the bad stuff. I was sick the entire week up until this morning. Everyday I had to take pills to stop gagging and on Wednesday I was basically in bed most the day. Yesterday wasn't much fun either but this morning I'm feeling better. I will get a week to build back up before I have another drip. Only next time I'll have more meds for the nausea. As for the Avastin drug the dr wants me on with the Folfox, once again the ins has denied the drug. It's in appeal so I'll know more next week. Even though this week was rough, I felt Gods presence right next to me. I was not alone even when Casey was in LA on business. Psalm 86:5-7 You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you. hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me. His presence was so apparent this week while I was down. I hope when any of you feel lost, weak, or down you will remember to turn to Him. God bless you and thank you so much for your prayers. I will have my next drip on the 14th so please keep me in your prayers for a complete healing without such bad side effects.

Hi Buddies and Happy Thanksgiving to you! This is the most recent family pic we just had last month. I had my dr apt at UCSF and it was a very positive experience. I know God was listening to everyone praying for me. "Thank you" just doesn't express how grateful I am for those prayers, but I don't know what else to say except THANK YOU! I will start FolFox with Avastin hopefully next week if not the following week. That is the very first line chemo regimine I was on three years ago. I'll have neuropathy in the hands and feet but shouldn't feel too bad or tired. It was easier on me than the second line treatment as far as feeling bad. I just won't be able to drink, eat or hold anything cold. I'll be on it until my blood counts get too low and I have to stop or the neuropathy starts to become permanent. I'll go in for the drip and come home with the pump attached to my port for two days. This will happen every other week. The dr is hoping to either stop or reverse the growth I've had. He hopes this will buy me about a year, than I'll go on the second line treatment for another year and by then hopefully they'll have something better for me. He was very positive and upbeat about it. It pays to go to a positive person like Dr Venook at UCSF. He gives so much hope and encouragement. So tonight Casey and I are feeling good and happy about the future instead of unsure and frightened. So again, thank you everyone for the prayers, the cards, the FB feeds, the emails, the calls to check up on me, and words of encouragement. Your response to me has taught me how to be more considerate and empathetic to others. And your continued prayers have strengthened my hope and faith because I see first hand how God does listen and answer prayer. May the God of creation bless you all during this wonderful season of Thanks Giving. 1Peter 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. God helps me remain true to my faith through whatever difficult times I face. He will gladly help you too! Just ask Him.

Hi Blogger Buddies. Today was a pretty stressful day. The Blue Cross denied the appeal for the clinical trial. So I'm back to square one except the little cancer cells are still growing and they are not back to square one. I will meet with my Dr next Wednesday in the morning to go over other options. Hopefully he has something else to offer me. Sounds strange to be wishing there was more poison to shoot up me but I hate the wait knowing that the cancer is growing while I'm waiting for insurance or appointment. My daughter Brigitte sent me the perfect verse today. Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." This is why I am doing as well as I am. I have such strong support, prayers and encouragement from my family and friends. So I will wait until next week and try again not to worry about what God has planned for me. This morning was rough, not only did I get the denial but my father was taken to the hospital for a heart attack. I went see him in the emergency as soon as I heard. As it turned out he just missed having a heart attack. He was eating breakfast in the dining hall where he lives and his defibrillator went off in his chest. Not once but five times. His heart was about to go into arrest when the defibrillator did what it's supposed to do. Amazing how it stopped the heart attack. He stayed in the hospital for a few hours then was sent home. On the way home he wanted to stop first at Walmart then go out for Chinese lunch. That guy doesn't stop!!! I asked him if I could have one of his 9 lives! The pic is of Brigitte at a family photo shoot we had two weeks ago. The shirt she is wearing is very special to me because it was my favorite one when I was about 20 years old. Yes, before I was married and I kept it all this time. It fit her perfectly and I couldn't even get it over my body!! Thank you again for all your prayers, support and wonderful cards. It is truly appreciated. As Brigitte reminded me today "The Lord will determine my steps".

Hi everyone, just a quick note to let you know I will not be starting the clinical trial tomorrow as planned. Blue Cross denied it. My dr at UCSF put in an appeal and they have 72 hours to let me know if its a go or not. I'll know by Tuesday one way or the other. If the appeal is denied then I'll have to go back to UCSF and figure out what to do next. I had to laugh at the news last night when Nancy Poloci said on TV, after the signing of the health bill, "now the insurance companies can not get between you and your doctor". Yea right! We'll see if the insurance industry continues to play doctor in the near future.....Anyway, I'm not too worried about it because I do trust that God has a plan for me. Maybe this trial isn't the right one for me or maybe he wanted me to wait a little longer to get over my congestion that I've had for the past week. So I will continue to trust the one who knows me better, longer and deeper than any other. I love the verses in Psalm 139 1-16. If you get a chance to read it you'll understand why I trust Him so. He knows each one of you too! Thank you for your prayers. They truly make a difference and I know He hears each one. God bless you all and have a wonderful week. Oh, the pics are of Brigitte charging during her game at Sonoma State today and of my dad who came to watch. He's hanging in there..

Hi blogger buddies and happy Halloween!. This is Chance, Bonnie and Ricky's dog, in her banana costume. Now for a short update as to what is going on with my disease and the clinical trial that I'll be starting soon. As I posted last week, there has been some growth. The tumor in the upper left lung grew slightly but that's not the worry. I am developing ascites in the pelvic, gut area. This is consistent with progressive metastatic cancer. The fluid is filled with cancer cells and causing some inflammation in the lining of the small intestines. The clinical trial I will be on will hopefully stop the progression. It has worked for some and other not, so please keep me in your prayers as that it works for me. I should be able to start the week of the 9th. I've already had an EKG and blood work that came back "awesome" as the coordinator said. The drugs are a combo of 3 kinds that work together to stop the blood flow to the cells. Hopefully I won't have too bad of side effects. I know they have lots of drugs to help with the nausea and aches and I shouldn't lose my hair. My life at this point is very uncertain but God remains my rock and my salvation. He knows when I was born and only He knows when I will leave this home. This is like being in labor. As I've been going through this cancer, my body has been changing...as does one who is pregnant. Then as time goes on the labor starts and it gets harder. In the end there is a birth, only this time the birth is my rebirth into Heaven. Someday I will be reborn into Heaven but as I said, only He knows the day and time. Until that day comes, I will continue to enjoy each day and praise God for it. He has gotten me this far with the disease and if He chooses I will be fighting it for many years to come. Thank you for your prayers. I know He listens to us all even when we don't know it. Ephesians 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us". Infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires thoughts or hopes.

Hi Blogger Buddies, It's been two months since I last blogged and I've been busy with some traveling. The pics are of my friend Linda and me in Hawaii. We had a great time house sitting in Kona, going on hikes, snorkeling and visiting the black sand beaches with the turtles, and of course the volcano. Then the other pics are of the Oregon at "Inn at Otter Bay" which is only 3 hours south of Portland right on the coast. The sunsets were so clear and vibrant! A great time with beautiful weather. I know, that is amazing! We were blessed to watched whales, seal, otters, birds and beautiful sunsets from our balcony. Gods creations right in view! Once I got home to rest I went in for my routine CT. The results came back showing a slight growth in the small tumor in the left upper lung and inflammation with fluid build up in the area around the site of the original tumor except on the outside of the rectum instead of the interior. Doc believes it's from disease progression and recommends I get into a clinical trial that is offered at UCSF. So in the next week I'll be going to UCSF for lots of blood work and test to see if I qualify. If so, then I'll be starting asap. I'll be taking two new drugs with the Avastin that I was already on. The hope is that the drugs will either slow down the progression or stop the growth all together for a time. So please put me in your prayers that I do qualify and that the drugs work and get me to NED. There are so many ups and downs when fighting a chronic disease such as cancer but knowing that people are other there supporting me in thoughts and prayers makes the journey so much easier to handle. On the morning of my Ct follow up, I was walking through the park with my sister, and up in the sky was a big beautiful rainbow. Rainbows reminds me that God is there for me and loves me. That really helped me to get through the appointment. Then on the way home from the appointment there was another rainbow. I had this forbearing feeling, like a heavy weight or dark cloud over me but once I saw the rainbow again I knew He was watching over me. This verse helps me to understand how God wants to help us. Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. God has taken the burden of my disease and is carrying it for me. He does that to everyone who asks.
Again, thank you all for your continued love and support to me and to my family. God bless you and I'll blog soon!!!

Happy Anniversary to me!!! It's been 3 years (August 24th) since my diagnose!!! Time sure does fly when you're having fun!! I have been doing good these past 8 months on the maintenance regimen of Avastin and Xeloda. In fact I was even able to do a little traveling. Casey and I along with my sister, her son and friend went to Costa Rica in July for a week. What a great time! We stayed one night in Heredia which is just outside of San Jose, the capital. My nephew did a Spanish Immersion program there for 4 weeks, so we got to visit him for a day. They off to Arenal the volcano area where we walked through the jungle/rain forest and almost stepped on a snake. Then two nights in the rainforest's of Monteverde (The video is of Casey doing zip lining across the rain forest canopy), and three nights in Montezuma where we hiked up to a beautiful waterfall, watched the Howler monkeys (they woke us up each morning), swam in the beaches and even rode ATV's through the jungle. We ended our trip in Manuel Antonio which is a reserve for the multiple of animals and wildlife. I even video taped a sloth! We had a great trip and I was so blessed to not get sick or have any other problems. We came home the same day Kyle and Sean did from their 6 week trip to Europe. They traveled to 11 different countries and had a great experience. We've enjoyed seeing the pictures of their adventures and swapping stories. The next weekend was the Relay for Life. Thank you so much to everyone that contributed. Our team raised almost $6,000. The last weekend of July we had two more weddings. I can definitely say I have been living life to the fullest with Gods blessings! I have my next CT lined up for October. My life is lived in three month increments and that is fine with me. It really makes me appreciate each day, and hold on to the hope and peace that God gives me. I continue to feel His presence in my everyday life. As for my dad; he made it to both weddings as he had prayed for. It surprised all of us including the doctors at how well he did for both weddings. I think he's the cat with more than 9 lives! Thank you for all your continued prayers, love and support. I have been truly blessed through this journey. This disease gives me the ability to enjoy life through a magnifying glass. I hope that all you bloggers learn to enjoy your life in the same way. Don't wait until "tomorrow" but live today and each day that you are blessed with. Psalm 143:Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; let the good spirit lead me. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8. Yes, it is true that adversity can bring you strength and courage but only God can give you the peace that comes just by asking. He is there for you if you ask Him to be.

Hi blogger buddies, I hope everyone is staying cool through this heat spell. Casey and I were able to get away from the hear for a night in Tiberon on Sunday. It's a great deal right now. $109+tax for the Lodge at Tiberon plus on Sunday it's happy hour all day long so we had a beer, appetizer, dinner and dessert for less than $30. Great deal! Then on Monday morning we walked across the Golden Gate Bridge. One of the "must do's" on my list. It's 1.7 miles each way. Great walk but it's windy!!! The other pic is of my father at my nieces wedding. Yes, he made it to the wedding and he's still doing really well. I know he'll make it to the next nieces' wedding July 31st. The docs thought he was a goner but they don't know my dad! He's the cat with more than 9 lives. On Monday afternoon I went for the result of the CT I had last week. The results say ill-defined right subdiaphragmatic nodule is unchanged from prior ct. Which means the tumor they saw on the Ct last month is the same and actually decreased from a scan a year ago. They did say that an area in the mesenteric soft tissue appears more conspicuous. That means to wait and see because it could be just positioning of the body. The lung area shows a very slight increase (.2ml) so the dr said it could be just the cut of the slide. It's way too small to confirm any real growth. The results also say that there are some groundglass nodule that are more conspicuous (the tech likes that word!) that on prior Ct. Overall the my onc says to wait and see. Nothing jumped out at him as to change what I'm doing. So in 3 more months I'll have another Ct and we'll go from there. These test can sure make a person feel insecure, frightened or lose hope, but I feel optimistic and hopeful instead. First, I know God is watching me and taking care of me so no need to worry. Plus it makes me enjoy each day, appreciate each moment and not worry about the small stuff. Not only that, it's really easy now to ask for stuff from Casey, such as I want to redo my house, no problem! If I want to go on a trip, no problem, want new cloths, fine, etc... Cancer does have it's benefits! So, in July Casey and I are headed to Costa Rica for a week with my sister to visit her son who is doing a Spanish Immersion program in Heredia. As soon as I get back, the next weekend is the Relay for life. I will be very busy with my team. It's a great cause because one of the many things they do is fund research. There is a new drug that just came up in trials and I may be using it one day. So thank you everyone who has donated to helping find a cure. It is so important that we find a cure asap for everyone because unfortunately, many of your bloggers will be in my shoes one day. If you would like to donate, my Relay site is click here. Together we CAN make a difference.

I know that I am on a path and God is leading the way. I continue to trust Him and know that in every way He will take care of my family and me. Ephesians 3:16-19 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strenghten you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. This is what continues to give me hope. Knowing that God loves me so deeply, as he loves us all and that He dwells in our hearts through our faith.

Have a great summer and if there is more news I'll let you know! Thank you for all your love and support. Stay safe and wear sunscreen!

Hi Everyone, I hope all the mothers out there had a wonderful day yesterday. I was in LA area for a wedding over the weekend so I spent the time with Casey's family. This was the first Mother's Day that I didn't see any of my own kids. So I got to see my nephews instead and that was good. One pic is what my kids gave to me yesterday. The numbers correspond with when they came into the family. The other pics are when I took Brigitte to Disneyland for her birthday in April with Bonnie and Ricky. I was very surprised to learn that over 600 people a day go to Disneyland for free on their B-day. It makes you realize you aren't as special as you thought knowing how many people share your day! I am doing really good these days. I have had two drips and two rounds of the Xeloda pills in the last month and no blisters so far! My feet have healed and they are very soft now with no callouses. They are also tender but I'm sure they will toughen up as time goes by. I've been having lots stiffness and pain in my shoulders though. I thought I was getting a tumor in my bones or soft tissue but the dr told me that this type of cancer doesn't travel there and it's arthritis that is causing the pain. I have since read up that many people do develop arthritis and joint issues after the treatment. I hope it goes away in time but who knows? Some days it's ok and other nights it keeps me awake. The dr gave me muscle relaxation drugs but that didn't help it much. I know there are other drugs out there that work better so I'll try those. Honestly though, I can't complain. Life has been good. Since I no longer work, my counts have been in the normal range. It's amazing to me that even though I loved my job, it was hard on my body. The extra rest I get now really helps. My next scan is June 22nd with lots of blood test. So please keep me in your prayers for a clear test. It'll be three years this August from when I was first diagnosed. There have been many ups and downs along the way, mostly ups thank God. However, there are times when I do feel sad, down or just discouraged, especially when I've had a bad day with joint, bowel or feet issues. Then almost immediately God brings someone into my life to show me how much worse it is for others and I realize how lucky I am. About the same time I'm feeling low, someone sends me a card or gift out of the blue, and once again I feel so blessed. I'm blessed just to be able to write in this blog! I don't know how people know just when I need encouraging words, creams for my feet or love for my soul, but they do. It's very obvious to me that God does his work through people many times even if they don't know it. It's reassuring to me knowing that I'm never alone in this battle. As for my father and his health issues. He is definitely not doing dialysis. He says when his time comes then that is fine. He has a peace about living and about dying. He loves living and is very aware of everything around him but he is also at peace with his decision about no dialysis. So at this point the drs try to monitor his kidneys with meds as best they can. We know that his time is limited, but then we all have a limited time here on earth. That is why God says to be ready at all times because you never know when Christ will come again to take us home.

Matthew 24:42 and 44 Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. This not only tells us to be ready for Him, but to also live life to the fullest each and every day because each day we have is a true blessing. Enjoy this month and all the weddings, graduations, births, celebrations or just life. God bless you all and thank you for your love.

Hi blogger Buddies,
All is well in the Brierley camp today. Casey and I just got back from a 10 day trip to Hawaii. We had 6 wonderful days on the north shore at Turtle Bay. (Pic of Casey and I on the rocks) I think it was the first time I went on a vacation with Casey where we relaxed! We spent time on the beaches, read books, walked a lot, and just hung out. It was amazing. Casey's idea of a vacation is to get up early and hit the road until night. So this was a big change for him and it was great! After 6 days we went to Waikiki beach where we watched the surfers and I hiked up Diamond Head while Casey was in meetings. Yes, part of the trip was work related for Casey. The right pic is from the top of Diamond Head and the video below is from the hotel balcony.
My feet are still a little sensitive but that's because they completely peeled, and are continuing to peel as I write. At least I don't have any blisters now. I just started taking the Xeloda chemo pills again on Monday so I'll have to wait and see if I get the blisters again. The plan is to take 6 pills a day for one week and then have two weeks off. Hopefully this will cut down on the side effects I'm still on the Avastin drip, through the port, every three weeks. All this is to hopefully keep me in NED as long as possible. They do blood test every time I have treatment and this time my white count was in the normal range. I haven't had a normal reading since I had radiation back in 2006. This was truly a surprise and a blessing. My guess is it's due to the rest I got on vacation and because God is watching out for me. (As I'm typing my cat Simon is snoring away!) Anyway, I'll have another CT in about 3 months and will continue on this regime until??? Please keep the prayers coming because I know they are being answered. Also, please add my dad to your prayers. His health is declining as are his kidneys. He is at the point that he must start dialysis asap, or let mother nature takes it's course. It's a hard decision and one that many of us will one day have to face. I just pray that God gives him the peace and wisdom to do what is best for him. God bless you all and I hope you have a very Happy Easter knowing and accepting what Jesus did for us on that very special day so many years ago. 1 John 4:9-10 This is how God showed his love among us; He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love; not that we loved God, but that he love us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Hi Blogger Buddies and happy day today! I am doing well. I was in the city on Monday for a CT and then spent the remainder of the day sight seeing with Brigitte. The pic is of Brig on the trolley car that we took to Fisherman's wharf. We shopped at Union square, ate lunch and rode the trolley. We had a great day. Then today I went back for the results and all is good. No change, no growth, all is stable. I'm going to cut down on my chemo pills to one week on the pills and two weeks off. This is because the pills caused me to have so many blisters and burned feet that I was having a hard time walking at all. My hands were burned as well and now they are peeling. I'll stay on the Avastin every three weeks as planned. I continue to go to the gym and I have even been able to start walking my dog again since being off the chemo. I'll start back on the pills again in April and hopefully the lesser dose will be easier on my feet and hands. Last month I purchased a juicer. I actually don't' mind drinking carrot juice now and I'm having fun experimenting with different flavors. Juicing is good for me because I get the vitamins without the fiber. Plus I continue to take about 11 vitamins to keep me strong. So life is good and I Praise God for each day I have! After my dr apt today Casey, Brigitte and I went to see the play "Wicked". Casey read in the paper that you can purchase tickets for $25 if you show up 2.5 hours before the performance. You put your name in a raffle and if they call your name you can buy the tickets. It was amazing! Another wonderful day in the city. I left feeling very blessed to have such good news and the opportunity to see a wonderful play. Another Cancer blessing is that it has taught me never to take a single day for granted and I don't. On another note, these past few weeks have been rough because Cindy, a very close friend of mine, was called home to Heaven. She had been dx two months before me so we supported each other through many rounds of chemo, scans and emotions. She was in my bible study and was one of my sisters in Christ. She will be very missed but I know that she is very happy and free of cancer now. Our relay team this year is in memory of Cindy and for those I know personally that are in the battle right now. If you feel like coming out to walk during the relay, or would like to join the team, I would love to have you. And above all, donations are always welcome. The money that is being raised now may one day save your own life. The ACS supports research and that is how we will one day win the fight against cancer for all. Below is my link for relay. Thank you so much for all your love, prayers and encouragement throughout my journey. Studies have shown that people that have a strong support network, a strong faith and people who pray for them do live longer and better. So thank you for helping me to live strong! I will end here with the last verse I read to Cindy the week before she passed. John 14:1-4 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am . You know the way to the place where I am going." Cindy and I had talked about Heaven and what it will be like. We both had a sense of peace knowing that there is more than just this life here. She will continue to live in my memory until we meet again in our new home with Christ.
Relay for Life:
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY09CA?px=9374997&pg=personal&fr_id=13833

Hi blogger buddies,
It seems a long time since I last posted. First pic is of my sister and me on the pier in Santa Barbara last weekend. Brigitte had a turnament so I went to watch. Then the next is of Brigitte making a shot. Notice the ball just leaving her stick and heading into the net? The last pic is of Brigitte and one of her teammates Megan at a recent lacrosse tournament at Berkeley. Aren't they cute! Casey and I thought we were done with all the sports games after Brigitte graduated from high school, but it continues on and on ..... We love it still! I finally got the results of my colonoscopy and all was clear. A biopsy had been taken because the dr had seen some irritation at the site of the incision but all was clear and no polyps. YEA! I am now on a maintenance regimen of Xeloda and Avastin. It's been going well except for the blisters on my feet. The first few weeks had me limping and not able to walk with my dog Kiwi. Thank God for my wonderful neighbors who continually take Kiwi for walks when I can't. Anyway, I have now joined a gym so I can try to swim and do stretch classes. The chemo caused my joints to become very stiff and sore. I've been taking Yin Yoga and it really helps. My body seems to have adjusted somewhat to the new chemo because I can take a walk once in awhile with my dog as long as I don't push it. My hands are also effected but no blisters so far and that I'm am grateful for. I have my next CT in March so please keep those prayers coming that all is clear and the chemo is working. The next big event in my life has been me going out on disability (private insurance) from work. I have noticed over the last few months that my energy isn't quite up to where it had been, plus the problems I continue to have with the blisters has caused me to re-evaluate my situation. I had been encouraged by my drs to consider it. I know I can take better care of myself and keep up my strength when not working so once again I am not working at school, but working on my health. I can't be of any help to anyone if I can't take care of myself. Plus the possibility of me getting sick was pretty high considering I was at a school working on lots of computers. It was a very hard decision to make but I know it was the right one. In a way I have felt like I was stepping into the abiss with my life and direction. But I also know that God is helping along this new path and new focus. So part of my new focus (aside from my health) is the Relay for Life once again. This time as a team captain. The team is called Hope West Coast. If you are in the Pleasanton area and would like to join, I would consider it a privlidge to walk with you. Here is the info and web site http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=13833
I will keep you all updated on my next Ct scan March 18th and also on my relay team. God bless you all and thank you for your continued prayers. I feel them and I know that God is watching over me daily. Isaiah 12:2 "Behold, God is my salvation , I will trust and not be afraid; For the Lord God is my strenght and song. And He has become my salvation." God is my salvaton and my hope for tomorrow and He will be yours too if you let Him.

Hello Blogger Buddies, and happy 2009! Christmas went by very fast, as expected, and all the kids and animals have gone back to school. Life is somewhat back to normal. This weekend Casey and I were able to take some time to visit some good friends up by Bodega Bay. They have a nice trailer for mini vacations so we joined them for one night. The weather was amazing for January and it was a lot of fun visiting with them. We are blessed to have such great friends. On our way back down the coast we visited the Marin Headlands. I am doing really well these days. I switched to a new regimen for treatment. It consists of a 30 minute drip of Avastin every three weeks along with Xeloda. Xeloda is 5-FU (which I was getting in a pump through IV) in a pill form. I take 6 Xeloda pills a day for two weeks straight and then one week off. This is a maintenance regimen the dr wants me on, but I don't know for how long. I suspect about a year but no one said that. So far I haven't notice any real side effects and I am very grateful for that. I hope it continues this way. I have another colonoscopy on the 28th of January for a routine scope, so please pray that all is well. I am continuing to take lots of vitamins and I have been starting up at the gym again. I feel so blessed to be able to enjoy each day when so many can not. My blood levels are all doing well and even going up which is truly a blessing. I had to have some extra blood work done because the Dr thought I might be getting low level hepatitis from all the drugs. Well that test came out clear, YEA! My liver is holding up. Your prayers, love and encouragement are what keeps me going. Thank you and God bless you all in 2009. Remember that even though there are a lot of negative things happening in 2009 with our economy, remember that God is always there and He will help you through what ever happens. He is my rock and can be yours as well. Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, my God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Merry Christmas blogger buddies!

This pic is from last week when I got be a sub at my friend Robins' bunko Christmas party. I've been subbing at her party for many years and have enjoyed these wonderful women since all our kids were in elementry school together.

Yesterday I went to UCSF to see my Oncologist. My doctor said that since everything they had been looking at, in both the stomach area and lung, was too small to do anything about, I should just go on modified treatment. He even went so far as to say that they couldn't say for sure what it was any more. I told him I wanted to go into NED (no evidence of disease) and I'd do what I needed to get there. He said I was just about there and that he questions if there truly is a complete NED anyway...The modified chemo includes a drug called Xeloda. It's the pill form of 5-FU. 5-FU was the chemo that I carried in a pump for three days at a time. Now I'll be taking the pills for two weeks on and one week off with Avastin once every three weeks. I have to watch closely for side effects on the Xeloda because it can be more toxic on some people. The reason it can be more toxic is because when you take a pill it has to go through your stomach, intestines and liver before it really gets into the blood stream. By this time it's hard to monitor just how much is getting into your system and how much was broken down. Women, for some unknown reason, metabolize it a little different and can have more severe side effects than men. I just have to watch and wait. I'll do this for three months and then do another check. Before I begin the regimen, I have to get my teeth cleaned since I couldn't while I was on the Avastin. Then I also have to have another colonoscopy..routine. I'm supposed to have one every year but since I was in treatment I couldn't have one. But I can now..YEA!! Anyway, I do have a lot be be grateful for. I feel so blessed to be able to enjoy my Christmas so much, while I'm feeling really good. After our appointment with the doctor, Casey, Brigitte and I went to China Town and found the Fortune Cookie factory...yes, we purchased a few bags. Then Casey was on a mission to find a recommend bakery that makes egg custards. They were hot out of the oven and very tasty. Next we met up with Ricky, my son -in-law, and went to the Oriental Pearl restaurant for dinner. It was mentioned by Rachel Ray for great dim sun food. It was very good, but the dim sun is only served at lunch so we missed that, but the peking duck was amazing! We finished the night off with going to the oldest bakery in San Francisco and purchasing a Chinese donut...not so good to me but I did bring home a few BBQ pork buns. They are great! All in all we had a wonderful day/evening in the city. Merry Christmas to all of you and I pray that all you wonderful people make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you can not repeat it and tomorrow is not promised, only eternity is promised to those who believe in our Lord and savior. I have posted this verse before and it's worth repeting and memorizing as it is considered the heart of the bible. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

Good morning and happy Christmas season! Last Tuesday I had my dr apt in San Francisco so Casey and I decided to spend the entire day there. We went to the new Natural History Museum and it was great! The pic is of Casey on the "green roof". It was a very interesting and fun day. The second pic is of Kyle. He fell asleep at the dinner table one night during the Thanksgiving break, so Sean covered him with flour. Lesson not to fall asleep with an older brother near by! The dr apt in the city was with the thoracic surgeon. He pretty much said the same thing as the liver/gut surgeon. There was really not much to look at. Way too small to get anything and the uptake from the PET was so low it didn't indicate much activity. So no surgery for now. I feel so blessed to have such good readings from the PET, to have great doctors to take care of me and to have all the love and support keeping me up. As I have said before, there are some blessings with cancer. I have a follow up in a few weeks with my dr at UCSF to discuss what to do next...maybe go on a chemo break and just take Avastin?? I am looking forward to a great Christmas and a very happy and healthy new 2009! God bless each and every one of you and thank you so much for all the prayers. They truly help me. As stated in Matthew 21:22 All things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive. Merry Christmas and please have a happy, healthy and safe 2009! This is my prayer for all of you. 2 Thessalonians 3:5 May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ.

Happy season everyone! I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and remembered to say "thanks"! I had a wonderful time with my kids and so many family and friends. I did lots of cooking and hanging with the kids. I even played football at our annual game. It was a blast and no one got hurt! Some of the "old"guys (and not so old guys) had to take Advil for a few days after! They take the game very seriously and play way too hard! But we all had a great time and had plenty of food to eat after. On Sunday, all the kids had gone back to school and Casey and I got the house back. It's always nice to have them around, but also nice when they leave and I can get the house back in shape. We do miss them though. Monday I was able to get the results of the last PET scan. I was told that there were no surprises and they would refer me to a liver/gut surgeon. On Tuesday I got a call from UCSF and they scheduled me to see Dr Warren on Wednesday at 9am. So Casey and I drove to SF this morning in very thick fog. It took almost 2 hours. This doctor told us that he wouldn't recommend any surgery on the liver or gut area at this time because the spots that are there are way too small to find. He had spent 45 minutes on the phone with the radiologist asking exactly what is showing. He said the radiologist was going to go over it again and circle the area. There was little uptake of the glucose dye so that indicates the tumors are not strong and active. When a tumor is strong and active it glows on the PET, and this didn't happen. Then he suggested I talk to the lung specialist because he wasn't at all sure what he was looking at in the lung. He suggested it looked more the shape of a lung cancer but said that would be very rare to get that disease while I'm fighting another disease. He thought maybe a biopsy since even that tiny spot (which is see able and reachable) had little uptake as well. So next Tuesday I have another apt in the city with the Thoracic surgeon. Then once that is done, all three doctors will review my file and determine the next step. He said it looks like I am responding very well to the treatment I'm and to stay with that for now. So today I had #13 chemo treatment of Folfiri without the Avastin. They don't want the Avastin in my system if I do go in for any surgery. I'm doing ok with this treatment. I managed to walk my 3.5 miles when I got home from treatment, but now I'm pretty tired. I continue to know and trust God in everything. I'm trying to follow His path no matter where it takes me and to keep trusting in Him. The doctors may be confused and not sure what they are seeing, but I know God is not confused and knows exactly the next step ahead. Thank you for all your continued prayers. I am so blessed by all of your blogger buddies. This verse struck me because you don't always see a clear path but He is always leading if you let him. Psalm77:19 "Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty water, though your footprints were not seen" . That is faith, to follow without seeing the footprints. God bless you all as you prepare for this holiday season.