Hello Bloggers!! I'm finally able to get on a my computer and give you and update as to what has been going on. But first I want to say thank you so much to all my wonderful friends and family who have shown such love and care in the past few weeks. I have truly felt your love and prayers and they have been an enormous help to me, to Casey and to my kids. You are all amazing and I love each and everyone one of you. The pic is from the last hospital stay, not this one.
Ok, so it started back August 6th at our family reunion as my last post said. I did end up going in a second time the weekend of the 22nd and stayed a few days again in the hospital. August 24th I had chemo and that wasn't so bad because it helped with the growing ascities. The Ascities is what is causing all the problems. Too much fluid in the gut and lung area. This past Monday I was feeling so bad I ended back in the hospital for the third time. This time I'm at John Muir in Concord which is a much better hospital where they can do some real testing and monitoring. I now have an NG tube. It's a tube that goes from my nose down to my throat and into my stomach to relieve all the bile I've been producing. I also have now a TPN line. That is a line that goes into my artery in my arm that give me nutrition. I'll be on that for a few weeks or months I think. A nurse comes to the house each day to help switch the nutrition bag until Casey gets it figured out. It's a lot to deal with because my blood sugar has to be tested every 4 hours along with other stuff. I also had to have an study dye enema today to see what is all the problem. Thank goodness there is no blockage or tumor that is causing the problem, just the ascities as they thought. Truly a blessing. It could have been much worse. So at this point I am still at John Muir and not sure when I'll be home, but I will be home sometime and out walking my dog Kiwi again soon. As I said, thank you again for all your love, prayers and support over these past few weeks. It's been rough but with God right next to me I know I'll be fine no matter what.
2 cor:4:17-18 For our light affliction which is but for a moment works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. While we look not at the things that are seen, but at the things that are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporal but what is not seen is eternal.

Hello Blogger Buddies, the pics are from our annual family reunion. This time it was in Santa Cruz over looking the water. Beautiful spot where were watched the seals, dolphins and other sea life daily. The weather wasn't the best but the company was. We also got to go visit Kyle at his latest work site. He's working at a lagoon clearing off the tool leaves and dredging. He's even using the excavator and having fun with it. He'll be there for another 4 weeks working on the project. I had a good time but unfortunately I got pretty sick there. My belly ballooned out and I had a harder and harder time breathing so on Friday we went straight from the reunion to the dr where they promptly checked me into the hospital. Turns out I was drowning. My lungs were in cased in fluid more that half way up my back. They drained my stomach of 2 liters and both my lung cavities of 1 liter each. Not a fun procedure but I at least I can breathe again. Now I have to get back on treatment right away because the fluid will continue to build up again. So tomorrow I go in for treatment. I am nervous about it because I don't' feel good now and I'll get hit hard tomorrow. I haven't even been able to hold down water so far so I'm not sure how I'll handle treatment. Please keep me in your prayers that my body responds to the treatment and that I start to be able to hold down fluid of any kind. Through this time I have continued to feel blessed by so many friends and family that have called, texted, emailed and prayed for me. This is not a fun time for me or my family but together we will get through knowing that I continue to be in God's plan and His graces.
Psalm 34:1-4 I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Hi everyone, I hope your summer is going well. We just had our Relay for Life event and our team, Hope West Coast, made over $11,000 for American Cancer Society. Thank you to everyone who helped make this year such a success. We could not have done it without all your generous donations. So thank you. The other pic is of Carrie, my co-team captain who did an incredible job of fundraising, and the other is of one of Betsy, one of my daily walking partner. The boys participated in "Little Ms Relay" and in one lap made $164 for the team. They were pretty cute too!!! As for me, I was wiped out after the event! It's a lot of work and is very tiring. It took me until Tuesday to feel normal again. But it was worth the effort because one day cancer will be wiped from our vocabulary. It'll be just a bad memory like the Black Plague of the 1500's. As for my health, I'll be back on Folfox starting August 16th, when I get back from our family reunion. My chemo break is quickly coming to an end. But it's been nice. I've still issues with bowels ( it goes with the territory) and I also believe I had an Asthma attack so now I'm on an inhaler. I haven't had that in 3 years so it took me, and my doctors, by surprise. My blood and tumor marker (CEA) are normal and that I am very grateful for. For those who have been wondering about my father, he is doing good. Not gaining any weight and seems to be stable. He'll be with us at the family reunion. My mother-in-law is all moved in and seems to be enjoying her new digs up in Reno. She is in much better shape now that she is eating and exercising everyday. And she has won Bingo twice now!!! I hope everyone has a nice summer vacation and gets to enjoy some time with family and friends because that is what living is about. God bless you all and thank you again.!
Check out this one minute sermon. It's really good
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=10150208006915385&ref=mf

Good evening Bloggers, It's three more days till Relay for Life and things are getting busy around here. Thank you to all those who have already supported me in this big event. It's not too late if you still want to donate or sign up for a luminaria bag. Here is my link page: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10CA?px=9374997&pg=personal&fr_id=20507

The first pic is of my friend Zoe (husband Gary is taking the pic) who I have known since 9th grade. We've been going to the fair every year together. The other pic is of our friends Adrianne and Dave whom we've know for almost 32 years. We were in Monterey with them. We are truly blessed to have such warm loving friends for so long.
My father was back in the hospital last week for about 4 days. Again the weight gain due to kidney failure and an infection in his body. Plus he had an allergic reaction to the meds they gave him and he ended up with hives on his legs and arms. Not a happy camper for sure. Anyway, he is home now, has had his defibrillator turned off and will go on hospice the next time he has the weight gain. It could be in a few weeks or maybe a month or two??? He's in Gods hands and he is at peace with his decision.
Last week Casey and I drove to LA to pack up Casey's mothers' furniture and cloths. She has been moved from Torrance where she lived for 55 years and now lives in Reno with Kathy, Casey's sister. At 88 yrs, we felt it was no longer safe to live by herself in her home. She seems to be doing well with the adjustment.
As for me, today I got the results from my CT that I had back in June. I've had very little growth both in the lung and gut area. Small enough changes, but enough to make me go back on chemo in August. It showed a tiny bit of fluid in left lung and small new ascites (fluid) in the gut area, but mild. Today the Dr. was concerned with the fluid buildup in my left lung because I have had breathing issues this past week. Even though he could not hear anything and he said my lungs sound clear, he sent me for an Xray (STAT) thinking I will need to have my lung drained to make me more comfortable. The Xray showed no fluid buildup. Praise the Lord!!! No draining needed. I think I just had an asthma attack and since I didn't have any inhaler at hand, it's taken longer to go away. I used to have asthma and inhalers but the stuff was old so I tossed them. I'm getting a new inhaler tomorrow. I've also had ongoing bowel issues and I'm guessing it's from all the chemo I've had. The colonoscopy I just had in June stated that the colon was some what swollen and irritated. The dr said today that it's unusual what he's seeing with me. He said he usually doesn't see this kind of symptom because most people don't live this long with the disease. He said more and more patients are living longer with the disease so this is new territory. I think they are living longer because they are getting dx at an earlier age and are stronger and more able to fight longer. So please get your colonoscopy and don't' delay. So as of today, I'm feeling pretty good except for the breathing and the bowel issues, but I'm not complaining. I get to wake up and see a beautiful sky and enjoy a new day. As I've said before, all my days are good, I just may have some bad moments in the day.
Now for a bazaar story: Last Wednesday night Casey and I were driving back up to the bay area. At about 11:30 pm, I turned off an off ramp to switch driver. As I was getting back into the passenger side I noticed a small black wallet in the dirt. I opened it and found a small red camera. When I showed Brigitte the camera the next day, she and I tried to see if we could find a name or something to help us find the owner. but we didn't have any luck at first. However, Brigitte noticed that some of the pics were taken up in Chico, in Upper Bidwell Park and also of a dorm room with lots of pictures on a wall. Kyle got the camera zoomed onto the wall with pictures and found a name. Brigitte went on facebook with the name and found the girl. Sure enough! She goes to Chico and she had lost her camera on her LA trip. We are meeting her tomorrow to return the camera back to her. One up for technology!!!
Thank you all for your continued love, support and prayers for almost four years. Yes, it'll be 4 years next month. I've learned so much on this journey and I hope in some way you have too. I've also learned the importance of living for the moment and not worry about tomorrows. God has been my rock and my salvation and He will continue to lead me on this path. I can only hope and pray that one day if you ever find yourself in need, that you will remember to turn to God.
Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Hi blogger, Well Sean did it! He graduated from Cal State East Bay a week ago. The pic is from left, Alexis, Bonnie, Sean, Brigitte, Kyle and Ricky. The other pic is of the kids graduation party celebrating by playing flip cup in our backyard over the weekend. I guess that's what you learn in college??? Sean will continue to work for AMR and will start to apply for fire jobs once again. Because of cutbacks it may be more challenging than completing school! As for Kyle, he started a new job in construction and seems to really like it. It's a small local company that deals with aquatics and dredging mostly in the bay area for commercial and public works. It's a real blessing when these guys can come out of school now and get a job. Boy have times changed in the past few years...
As for me, I had my annual colonoscopy on Monday. All was clear!!! They didn't even take a biopsy of anything! The one thing that was noted was a rectal fistula (a very small hole in the rectum) that will have to be addressed. The dr thinks it's caused from damage to the rectum when I had radiation. I see my colorectal surgeon next Monday to discuss what to do about it and also to talk about replacing my port that has quit working. I guess I wore this one out. I also have a CT Monday so please keep me in your prayers. I've been off of all chemo since the middle of May and it's been great. So if the CT is ok, I'll stay off through July at least...we'll see. I know I'm in Gods plan so I'm not too worried about the results. Quartly CT's keep me aware of how much I need and depend on God for my life both physically and mentally. He gives me the peace I need to cope with this disease. Chemo and Radiation do break down the body but Job clarifies what is important. Job 19:25-27 I know that my Redeemer lives and that in the end He will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God . I myself will see him with my own eyes, I and not another.

Hi Blogger Buddies! I hope everyone is doing great! The pics are of Kyle at his graduation last Friday in Chico CA. Yes, he is finally done with Construction Management. Now he just has to get a job!!! If he doesn't find one soon, I have LOTS of repair that needs to be done around my house. That should get him looking for a real job fast! He's also motivated to find work because he really doesn't want to live back at home after being out for about 5 years. He moves in this next week so it's going to be a little trying getting used to having him around again. Brigitte will also be moving in but just until the beginning of August. She starts her student teaching Aug 11th in an elementary class up in Chico. I guess I'll have to start cooking dinners every night again. At least I won't have leftovers go bad in the frig anymore!
Well, I'm on a chemo holiday now. It happened because after the number 8 treatment I got the flu and was sick for about a week. Really sick. Casey even got sick himself but he recovered within 4 days. So when I was scheduled for #9 treatment I told the dr I couldn't do the full treatment because I hadn't recovered fully from the flu. She gave me a lighter treatment but again I got really sick and it took about 2 weeks to get back to somewhat normal. By this time I decided to go to my GI doctor and discuss the issues I was having. That was a prayer answered immediately because the day I called, they had an opening and I got right in. That never happens unless God intervenes! So in I went and my GI doctor really listened to me and my concerns. He was great and really made me feel like he cared! He decided I may have an infection in the colon or something that can come up with all the treatments I've had. He had me do three stool tests and he's testing for about 10 different things including testing for gluten tolerance. I'll know in about a week the results. I'm also going to have my annual colonoscopy in late June. Yes, it's annual so you people that haven't had one or need to schedule, remember, I get to have one EVERY year!!! It's no big deal so get it done....I needed to make my push! Anyway, since I'm having issues, my GI dr said I should not have any more chemo until I've had the scope; hence the chemo holiday. Hopefully it's just an infection and not the cancer growing, but I'm not too worried about it. My GI said the cancer doesn't cause the issues I've been having. I"m still walking almost everyday and active as ever. Thank God I have kept up my strength. I have way too much living to do including the Relay for Life walk in July. If you are able to help support me in this wonderful cause I would be very grateful. It's a very important event that will help all of us and our children, and their children and ... Cancer touches almost everyone in some way and we have to stop it. Raising funds to help with this fight is so important so please if you can help by visiting my Relay page at
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10CA?px=9374997&pg=personal&fr_id=20507 (cut and paste this link into a new window please)
and click on donate. If you would like a luminaria bag in memory or honor of a loved one, please sign up for that as well. It's a nice way to remember those who have fought the battle.
Thank you in advance for your help and please continue to keep me and my family in your prayers that the cancer doesn't grown while I am on a chemo holiday. I know that God hears my prayers because He lets me know I am not alone in this journey. I was pretty down when I made the call to my GI but when I got in the same day and felt the doctor listened and cared, I was once again reassured that God is in control and leading me in this path. I am on His time and no one else. Acts 2:25-26 "I saw the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope". I live in hope because God lives in me.

Hi Blogger world! It's a beautiful day in Pleasanton. The first pic is of Casey, Bonnie, Ricky and me getting ready to run/walk a 10K race in San Francisco this morning. It was warm and clear and perfect! Bonnie and I were the walkers of the 6.2 miles which took us up and across the Golden Gate Bridge and back again in just under an hour and a half. I felt so blessed to be able to do the walk without any issues or problems and in such great weather. The second pic is of my dad at his 90th party with his grandsons. He was so happy and has been doing really well ever since. My dad loves parties!!!
As for my health, I'm doing good. I have my 8th drip tomorrow so I'm preparing by drinking lots of fluid today. My last blood count showed every part of my counts were in the normal range. That includes the platelets, red and white cells and all the other parts of the CBC (complete blood count). I also had my cholesterol checked and it went up to 190 from about 160. I asked my homeopathic dr I saw last week and she said there have been studies the show when your body is fighting a disease, then your cholesterol will rise like mine has and it was a good sign. I was surprised that she said it was good. Who would have thought having your cholesterol go up was good!!! She also agreed with me going gluten free. She has been gluten free herself for over 12 years. She said the constant chemo does a number on the system and the gluten puts more stress on the intestines so I'd be better off without gluten, so now I am learning a new way of eating and cooking. I have also been busy becoming a "buddy" for the Colon Cancer Alliance, and have been asked to speak on two different occasions. What a blessing!!! I am also doing the Relay for Life and have a team again. I will keep fighting for a cure in every way I can because way too many people are DX each day. Cancer seems to touch us all in some way whether self, family member or friend. If you can help in anyway by donating, coming out to walk or joining my team, that would be great. My relay page is
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10CA?px=9374997&pg=personal&fr_id=20507
Please keep me in your prayer for an easy drip tomorrow without nausea and problems. I've been doing really well since January and I want it to continue. Thank you all for your continued love and support as I walk this journey. Even thought life takes turns when and where we least expect it, we can always find something good along the path by trusting in God and letting Him lead the way. In Philippians 4:10-14 Paul writes that he knew how to be content whether he had plenty or whether he was in need. The secret was drawing on Christ's power for strength. God is truly my strength that I rely on and we are all blessed that He is there for us always. God bless you all and enjoy the sunshine!

Good morning Blogger Buddies, and happy Patty's Day (one day late)! The pics are of Sean and his girl friend Alexis and Casey and me at a recent wedding we went to. Well, all the prayers and good wishes helped because my latest Ct was great! The ascities (fluid in the belly) is almost all gone and no new growth or change with the tumor in the lung. That is great news and a true blessing from God. Even the dr was surprised and very happy about the results. The scan did show a little, less than an ounce, of fluid in my right lung. He said it could be "sympathetic fluid" from the gut or the remains from the bronchitis I had. I had only had two doses of antibiotics when I had the CT. He was not at all concerned and said it would most likely disappear. If it doesn't and it grows then it can be remove easily. I knew something was amiss because during the week of treatment I get a sharp pain in my right lung, but just for about 7 days then it's gone. During that time it's hard to take a deep breath so fluid can build up. Chemo can cause all sorts of joint and body pain and this is just one of those side effects. I'm feeling good now and that's great so thank you all for your continued prayers. I'm living proof that prayers do work because I'm past the time I should have been here and now I'm on Gods time. And with His blessings I'll be on His time for a long time!!!! When I went in to get the news of the CT, my heart was beating and my blood pressure was up, but that was just physical. My mind was on Jesus and knowing that I'm in His plan. Both Casey and I have great comfort in knowing and believing that. And because I have been so comforted and at peace, and I am doing well physically, I was asked by the colon Cancer Alliance if I would become a "buddy" to people who have just been diagnosed. I would help guide them and walk them through treatment. That is something I have been wanting to do for a long time; to be able to help others get on the right track with treatment and also so show them Gods peace and comfort in times of trials. So another prayer has been answered.
2 Corinthians 3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all or troubles, so that we can comfort those in an trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
Have a happy spring weekend and go out and enjoy the sunshine.....at least for Californians!

Good morning bloggers. Today is a busy day for me. I have a CT at 11:40 this morning at UCSF, then off to see King Tut and then back to Walnut Creek where I am a guest speaker for a program offered to the public on survivor-ship for colorectal cancer. It's colorectal cancer awareness month and the push is on to get the word out about the importance of screening and early detection. So if you are 40 plus (insurance says 50 but I believe otherwise) and have any symptoms please get scoped. If you are 50 then just go get scoped with or without symptoms. Early detection will save your life. This link will tell you the symptoms to look for. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/colon-cancer/DS00035/DSECTION=symptoms
So today I am asking for prayers for a clear report from the CT. As I lay on the table I truly can feel Gods presence and your prayers so keep them coming. I have the follow up appointment on the 16th so I won't know until then. On a sad note, my very oldest and dear friend Mary passed this past Friday. We started our lives together back in Burbank as babies and went to first grade together. We ended up graduating from high school together in Torrance and were in each others weddings. We stayed in contact through raising our kids and ironically we both ended up with ports in our chest for our 50th. We traveled through our illness together for the past years and laughed and cried many times via phone, visits, email and text. She got a cold last week and it took her life away. I miss her terribly but know that she is with God, free of disease. The pic is from the early 60's in Burbank. My sister and I have gloves on and Mary is next to Nicky in the back row. This verse is for my dear friend Mary.
John 14:1-4 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; Trust also in me. In my father's house are many rooms; if it were not so I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you with me that you also may be where I am. You know the place where I am going."
I thank Jesus everyday for preparing a place for me too. God bless you all and go out and enjoy each day to the fullest. AND GET SCOPED!

It's a beautiful day today with the white puffy clouds and the fresh air from a day of rain. I just got back from my walk and decided to blog about the family trip I took to Santa Barbara this past weekend, the blessings God has given me, and my last treatment. One picture is of my sisters and brother, my dad and his brother in Santa Barbara, and the other is of me on the beach with the birds and the beautiful weather. The Schirm family had a mini reunion with my cousins to go through many old pics dating back to the late 1800's. The trip was hard on my dad had another scare with his health, so he's been in the hospital since we got back. However, once again, he seems to be bouncing back. He said he's waiting for his 90th birthday party we are having for him at the end of March in Napa. His will to live is incredible! As for me, I had treatment two weeks ago and it was the best treatment I have had. Since I have added the homeopathic discipline as well as the "healing hands", I have done much better. This treatment I didn't need the huge amount of anti nausea drugs because of the other stuff I'm taking, and the healing hands has helped me to clear my mind and body so much that I haven't had any nausea what so ever the past few times I'm been in to the onc office. The miracle this past treatment is my white cell count has gone into the 6 digits. I haven't had it in the 6's and above since before I was ever diagnosed back in 2006. The radiation damages the bone marrow where the cells are produced so the best I've ever been, and this is when I was without any treatment for 2.5 months, was 4.2. No explanation for the rise, just God helping me out once again. He does hear those prayers! At first I tried to consider that it was the homeopathic or healing hands, but then I realized it's easier to try to theorize the unknown then to accept a miracle. Well, after about a day, I just accepted the blessing from God. He has his hands on me and is in control of my life even down to my white cells. How blessed am I! So I have my next treatment on Monday and with all the prayers, support and extra meds, I'll do fine. I was reminded of the prayer today at my bible study and though it was well worth repeating.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living ONE DAY AT A TIME; enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Reinhold Neibuhr-1926. As Mary said in Luke 1:46 My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.

Happy rainy days,

The first pic shows some of my family together before we embarked on a yacht in New Port Beach this past summer for my niece's wedding, and the second is with my dear friend Linda at her home this past weekend. Ok, so I have to let you know that the prayers for me really helped this last week with my treatment. I did much better and I didn't end up in the hospital!! One week ago today I had the drip and today I walked 3.5 miles in the morning, between the rain, and another 3.5 miles this evening. So thank you so much for the prayers because I know God hears them. I also used lots of ginger honey in my green tea, I had the healing touch again to get me ready for the treatment, and again a few days after the treatment to help get the toxins out of my system. I also went in for an extra fluid drip on the middle day. Which means each treatment I carry some of the chemo in a hip pack for 72 hours continuous drip. On the middle day I go back to the office and they hooked me up to a bag of fluid and more anti nausea meds to help. All helped to get me through the treatment without getting so nauseated and dehydrated, and I didn't even have the bad cramps that I had been having in my gut area. My next drip will be Feb 8th so I'm looking forward to feeling good for the next two weeks. I will have two more drips and then March 9th I will have a CT. That will help determine how many drips I'll have of this regimen. Twelve is the standard treatment but it can change if I get too sick, show progression or the cancer goes in remission. It's really up to God though because I know my life is in His hands. In the mean time, I get to watch Brigitte play lacrosse this Saturday at Berkeley rain or shine. I admit, it's no fun getting sick every few weeks for a week, however, on the days I do feel good, I am so appreciative of that day. Even with all this rain, I love being able to get up and go outside to see the day. That's when I know I am blessed. Each day I have is truly a gift from God. Thank you all for helping me to live my life to the fullest, love abundantly, and enjoy each moment with all my friends and family. Psalms 136 starts off by saying , "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good". Each verse tells us to give Him thanks for great wonders, the heavens, the sun, the light etc... and ends with Give thanks to the God of heaven. If you get a chance it's worth the read, and remember to give thanks for all you have.

Hi Blogger buddies and happy January! The pics are showing what Kyle, Brig and Kiwi enjoy doing in their spare time. Doesn't look look like college life to me!!! It just started to rain and it's expected to last for the entire week, so I guess it's a good week to start my next chemo. Yes, I am doing chemo on Tuesday again. However, I will have a 20% reduction of the drugs and hopefully I'll do fine. This past week I went to a new doctor who practices homeopathic medicine as well as being an MD. She was great and I feel much better prepared for Tuesday. I'm now taking a probiotic powder to help with balancing my colon. She said the colon is like the ecosystem of the body and mine is out of balance from all the chemicals. The bad bacterial is more abundant than the good bacteria so this will help balance it out. I had been eating yogurt but it wasn't enough. I've only had three days of the powder and I already feel better. I'm also taking some support pills that she recommended to help with keeping my organs strong, and finally she gave me some strawberry tea and ginger honey tonic to help with the nausea that I have been experiencing. Homeopathic doctors look at the entire body, not just one part. So I feel very confident with her and will continue to see her as well as my current oncologist. Thursday I went for a wonderful relaxing body massage and Saturday I had "Healing Touch" done on me. It's similar to Reiki only American. It's used to help you help yourself through mind visualization, energy transfer and relation of the mind. This wonderful lady named Susanne helped me to visualize a positive, peaceful feeling and rid my mind of the memory of nausea that I have had the past few weeks. It really helped and I feel strong and ready to begin a new. It's strange how just the thought of the chemo drip made me start gagging weeks after the last drip. I was worried I'd be getting sick just walking into the office, but now I feel much better, more prepared and better equipped to handle the drugs. I'm also back to walking my 3.5 miles a day without any cramping what so ever. Looking back I feel it was a good experience (not one I want to repeat though) with a lot of learning in it. I now understand how it feels when someone just doesn't want to eat or drink. There was nothing I could think of that would entice me to take a bite of any food. That was such a strange experience for me because I LOVE food and all sorts of different ones. So even thought it was hard on me and on my family, I did learn from it and know I have gained empathy for those who have or are experiencing the same feeling. Through all this God has was present at every moment. I never felt alone and at times I felt His healing hands on my cramping belling in the hospital. I was also blessed to have all my family around me, and the pain meds and anti cramping drugs didn't hurt either. Thank you to everyone who has continued to pray for me, support me and send me gifts and cards. Your love and kindness really helps to lift me up and keep me strong and positive. This week when praying, please pray for all the people who are suffering in Haiti. God is really busy there and needed by so many. God bless you all my dear friends and family. Psalm 61:7-8 My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge.

Happy New Year to all my friends and family. Our Christmas was wonderful with 19 friends and family joining us for a great dinner, laughter and playing games. Santa even visited us this season! The pics are of Santa and Kyle, the boys with new shirts created by my very artistic nephew Tyler (he made the shirts from bleach), Casey and I getting ready for the Christmas eve dinner, and the kids ready to go open presents on Christmas morning. We are truly a blessed family. Kyle's quote is "we are like a Bill Gates family in that we have more love than he has money ". Kyle comes up with the cutest quotes. The Monday after Christmas I had #3 chemo. It was hard on me and I ended up in the hospital on new years eve and came home on the 2nd. I had terrible cramps and was dehydrated. I've been on a liquid diet for the past week and am trying to get control of the cramping. I'm supposed to have #4 in a week but I may hold off. I had a CT in the emergency without contrast so it didn't really show much but also nothing new and that was a blessing. We were worried about a blockage because of the severe cramping. It was the chemo I'm sure that caused the problems. So at this point I'm not sure what to do. I have to go in for blood work tomorrow because my whites and platelets have dropped significantly. I may not be able to have the next treatment anyway. So please pray for a clear direction in my treatment and for a complete healing if it's Gods will. Psalm 25: 4 Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths, guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. May God be your beacon of hope for a happy and healthy 2010.

Hi Blogger Buddies. The pic is of Bonnie, my daughter, and her husband Ricky. They are moving back to Pleasanton next weekend. Ricky got a job with Cupertino Electric in San Jose and He's done with school on Friday! Yea! Many blessing have come our way. I hope everyone is having a good time getting ready for the Christmas season and not stressing too much. If you begin to feel overwhelmed by all the preparations that come with the season such as decorations, presents, cards, travel etc.. Stop! Take a deep breath and just remember that Christmas is about our Lord and celebrating His birth, about being together with friends and family and appreciating all the blessings we have been given. Another such blessing that happened this week for me is that Avastin was approved!!! As of my last blog, the insurance company kept dening it. Well, through tips from wonderful people, I put in an appeal through the Department of Managed Health Care. (http://www.hmohelp.ca.gov/) It's the state agency that monitors and regulates Blue Cross, my health insurance. I filed an expedited appeal so the state had 72 hours to review my records faxed from the insurance company. Well it took about one day and they went back to Blue Cross and over ruled them. Next thing I know is I got a call from my Onc office telling me it was approved! Yes, I was very shocked and happy. A state agency that worked and worked fast for the better of the people! Who would have guessed!!! I'm sure God had something to do with it as well for it to happen so fast. They were so helpful and nice so keep them in mind if anyone you know needs help in the insurance category. Tomorrow I will have the second round of Folfox with Avastin. Please pray that this treatment goes easier. I was pretty sick the first week. I would feel a little better early in the morning but then it would get worse and worse. The second week I had to take Advil or Tylenol to stop the stomach spasms. That was a first for me. So please keep me in your prayers that this next treatment is easier on me and that it puts me back into NED. If I don't get a chance to blog until after Christmas, Have a very Merry Christmas and God bless you all, each and every day. Thank you for your continued support, love and prayers. Without them I would not be writing this blog today. Oh, I posted my e-mail in the blog synopsis because people have been asking. Luke 1: 31-33 You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jocob forever, his kingdom will never end. This is why I have faith. Because his birth has given all who believe an eternial life with him that will never end. So I will celebrate his birthday this Christmas and continue to praise his name forever.

Good morning everyone. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with friends and family. We had our annual football game against the Allens, yes they got us this time but we'll get them next year. My daughter Bonnie, had shirts made for our team that said on the front, "I wear blue (the blue ribbon for colon cancer) for my mom, or my wife, my sister, daughter, son-in-law" etc.. It was so special to me and really touched my heart. After we had a wonderful dinner at my house and on Friday we went out to SnugHarbor for the weekend with all the cousins. What a great mini family reunion. Then on Monday I started with my first drip of Folfox in over 2.5 years. This was the first drip I had when I was DX. I thought it would be ok because I didn't remember it being so bad. Boy was I mistaken. I guess it's like labor, you forget the bad stuff. I was sick the entire week up until this morning. Everyday I had to take pills to stop gagging and on Wednesday I was basically in bed most the day. Yesterday wasn't much fun either but this morning I'm feeling better. I will get a week to build back up before I have another drip. Only next time I'll have more meds for the nausea. As for the Avastin drug the dr wants me on with the Folfox, once again the ins has denied the drug. It's in appeal so I'll know more next week. Even though this week was rough, I felt Gods presence right next to me. I was not alone even when Casey was in LA on business. Psalm 86:5-7 You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you. hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me. His presence was so apparent this week while I was down. I hope when any of you feel lost, weak, or down you will remember to turn to Him. God bless you and thank you so much for your prayers. I will have my next drip on the 14th so please keep me in your prayers for a complete healing without such bad side effects.

Hi Buddies and Happy Thanksgiving to you! This is the most recent family pic we just had last month. I had my dr apt at UCSF and it was a very positive experience. I know God was listening to everyone praying for me. "Thank you" just doesn't express how grateful I am for those prayers, but I don't know what else to say except THANK YOU! I will start FolFox with Avastin hopefully next week if not the following week. That is the very first line chemo regimine I was on three years ago. I'll have neuropathy in the hands and feet but shouldn't feel too bad or tired. It was easier on me than the second line treatment as far as feeling bad. I just won't be able to drink, eat or hold anything cold. I'll be on it until my blood counts get too low and I have to stop or the neuropathy starts to become permanent. I'll go in for the drip and come home with the pump attached to my port for two days. This will happen every other week. The dr is hoping to either stop or reverse the growth I've had. He hopes this will buy me about a year, than I'll go on the second line treatment for another year and by then hopefully they'll have something better for me. He was very positive and upbeat about it. It pays to go to a positive person like Dr Venook at UCSF. He gives so much hope and encouragement. So tonight Casey and I are feeling good and happy about the future instead of unsure and frightened. So again, thank you everyone for the prayers, the cards, the FB feeds, the emails, the calls to check up on me, and words of encouragement. Your response to me has taught me how to be more considerate and empathetic to others. And your continued prayers have strengthened my hope and faith because I see first hand how God does listen and answer prayer. May the God of creation bless you all during this wonderful season of Thanks Giving. 1Peter 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. God helps me remain true to my faith through whatever difficult times I face. He will gladly help you too! Just ask Him.

Hi Blogger Buddies. Today was a pretty stressful day. The Blue Cross denied the appeal for the clinical trial. So I'm back to square one except the little cancer cells are still growing and they are not back to square one. I will meet with my Dr next Wednesday in the morning to go over other options. Hopefully he has something else to offer me. Sounds strange to be wishing there was more poison to shoot up me but I hate the wait knowing that the cancer is growing while I'm waiting for insurance or appointment. My daughter Brigitte sent me the perfect verse today. Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." This is why I am doing as well as I am. I have such strong support, prayers and encouragement from my family and friends. So I will wait until next week and try again not to worry about what God has planned for me. This morning was rough, not only did I get the denial but my father was taken to the hospital for a heart attack. I went see him in the emergency as soon as I heard. As it turned out he just missed having a heart attack. He was eating breakfast in the dining hall where he lives and his defibrillator went off in his chest. Not once but five times. His heart was about to go into arrest when the defibrillator did what it's supposed to do. Amazing how it stopped the heart attack. He stayed in the hospital for a few hours then was sent home. On the way home he wanted to stop first at Walmart then go out for Chinese lunch. That guy doesn't stop!!! I asked him if I could have one of his 9 lives! The pic is of Brigitte at a family photo shoot we had two weeks ago. The shirt she is wearing is very special to me because it was my favorite one when I was about 20 years old. Yes, before I was married and I kept it all this time. It fit her perfectly and I couldn't even get it over my body!! Thank you again for all your prayers, support and wonderful cards. It is truly appreciated. As Brigitte reminded me today "The Lord will determine my steps".

Hi everyone, just a quick note to let you know I will not be starting the clinical trial tomorrow as planned. Blue Cross denied it. My dr at UCSF put in an appeal and they have 72 hours to let me know if its a go or not. I'll know by Tuesday one way or the other. If the appeal is denied then I'll have to go back to UCSF and figure out what to do next. I had to laugh at the news last night when Nancy Poloci said on TV, after the signing of the health bill, "now the insurance companies can not get between you and your doctor". Yea right! We'll see if the insurance industry continues to play doctor in the near future.....Anyway, I'm not too worried about it because I do trust that God has a plan for me. Maybe this trial isn't the right one for me or maybe he wanted me to wait a little longer to get over my congestion that I've had for the past week. So I will continue to trust the one who knows me better, longer and deeper than any other. I love the verses in Psalm 139 1-16. If you get a chance to read it you'll understand why I trust Him so. He knows each one of you too! Thank you for your prayers. They truly make a difference and I know He hears each one. God bless you all and have a wonderful week. Oh, the pics are of Brigitte charging during her game at Sonoma State today and of my dad who came to watch. He's hanging in there..

Hi blogger buddies and happy Halloween!. This is Chance, Bonnie and Ricky's dog, in her banana costume. Now for a short update as to what is going on with my disease and the clinical trial that I'll be starting soon. As I posted last week, there has been some growth. The tumor in the upper left lung grew slightly but that's not the worry. I am developing ascites in the pelvic, gut area. This is consistent with progressive metastatic cancer. The fluid is filled with cancer cells and causing some inflammation in the lining of the small intestines. The clinical trial I will be on will hopefully stop the progression. It has worked for some and other not, so please keep me in your prayers as that it works for me. I should be able to start the week of the 9th. I've already had an EKG and blood work that came back "awesome" as the coordinator said. The drugs are a combo of 3 kinds that work together to stop the blood flow to the cells. Hopefully I won't have too bad of side effects. I know they have lots of drugs to help with the nausea and aches and I shouldn't lose my hair. My life at this point is very uncertain but God remains my rock and my salvation. He knows when I was born and only He knows when I will leave this home. This is like being in labor. As I've been going through this cancer, my body has been changing...as does one who is pregnant. Then as time goes on the labor starts and it gets harder. In the end there is a birth, only this time the birth is my rebirth into Heaven. Someday I will be reborn into Heaven but as I said, only He knows the day and time. Until that day comes, I will continue to enjoy each day and praise God for it. He has gotten me this far with the disease and if He chooses I will be fighting it for many years to come. Thank you for your prayers. I know He listens to us all even when we don't know it. Ephesians 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us". Infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires thoughts or hopes.

Hi Blogger Buddies, It's been two months since I last blogged and I've been busy with some traveling. The pics are of my friend Linda and me in Hawaii. We had a great time house sitting in Kona, going on hikes, snorkeling and visiting the black sand beaches with the turtles, and of course the volcano. Then the other pics are of the Oregon at "Inn at Otter Bay" which is only 3 hours south of Portland right on the coast. The sunsets were so clear and vibrant! A great time with beautiful weather. I know, that is amazing! We were blessed to watched whales, seal, otters, birds and beautiful sunsets from our balcony. Gods creations right in view! Once I got home to rest I went in for my routine CT. The results came back showing a slight growth in the small tumor in the left upper lung and inflammation with fluid build up in the area around the site of the original tumor except on the outside of the rectum instead of the interior. Doc believes it's from disease progression and recommends I get into a clinical trial that is offered at UCSF. So in the next week I'll be going to UCSF for lots of blood work and test to see if I qualify. If so, then I'll be starting asap. I'll be taking two new drugs with the Avastin that I was already on. The hope is that the drugs will either slow down the progression or stop the growth all together for a time. So please put me in your prayers that I do qualify and that the drugs work and get me to NED. There are so many ups and downs when fighting a chronic disease such as cancer but knowing that people are other there supporting me in thoughts and prayers makes the journey so much easier to handle. On the morning of my Ct follow up, I was walking through the park with my sister, and up in the sky was a big beautiful rainbow. Rainbows reminds me that God is there for me and loves me. That really helped me to get through the appointment. Then on the way home from the appointment there was another rainbow. I had this forbearing feeling, like a heavy weight or dark cloud over me but once I saw the rainbow again I knew He was watching over me. This verse helps me to understand how God wants to help us. Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. God has taken the burden of my disease and is carrying it for me. He does that to everyone who asks.
Again, thank you all for your continued love and support to me and to my family. God bless you and I'll blog soon!!!